Breaking a Few Eggs
by Capsule Cray
Summary: Vegeta has always known his woman is vulgar, but she's gone too far with this ridiculous request. Has she no decency? One-shot B/V


Disclaimer: Of course, I don't own the fantastic DBZ or any of the characters!

Breaking a Few Eggs

"Come on, pleeeeaase?" The beautiful scientist clasped her hands in front of her, blue eyes wide and pitiful as she looked up at her husband. Given her husband's height, yet constant need to feel superior, Bulma had taken pain-staking measures to master the art of making herself look very small when trying to get her way with him.

"Absolutely not, do not ask me again woman!" The Saiyan growled, face red and teeth bared.

"But Vegetaaa! It will be fun!" She continued, taking his hand and holding it to her heart, dangerously close to her left breast—which she happened to know was his favorite of the two.

"Fun?! My birth-right is not a _toy_ you idiotic, gr," he wrenched his hand back, the red shade of his face deepening, and ability to articulate an appropriate insult failing at the sight and feel of her chest. "It is absolutely out of the question! Why would you even want such a thing?"

Bulma grinned mischievously, standing straighter and leaning closer. "I've never been with a blonde," she replied smoothly, her voice like honey.

"Vulgar woman!" Vegeta shot, crossing his arms and backing away from her. "Have you learned nothing about the importance of the Legendary?!"

"Oh, nothing! I don't even know what it is! It's not like being a freaking Super Saiyan is all you EVER talk about EVER," Bulma replied sarcastically, crossing her own arms in perfect likeness to her alien husband. This tactic was getting her nowhere, she realized; usually the generic seduction was enough, but she would have to change her strategy.

"Come on, my Prince of All Saiyans," she tried again, uncrossing her arms and slinking them around the Vegeta's neck. "You can achieve the legendary form of Super Saiyan! All of the enemies you've faced have had the honor to battle the strongest warrior in the entire _universe_! I just want my crack at him," she said, whispering the last bit into his ear and nibbling on the lobe. "I want to be awed by your power."

Vegeta's eye twitched, his resolve growing weak, but mind unchanged. "You should already be awed by my great power, woman," he insisted, ducking out from under her arms. But he smirked, despite himself. "Not that I can blame your lust for the Legendary, when you put it that way," his smirk fell and he narrowed his eyes, "but the answer is still no."

Bulma let out an exasperated groan, rolling her eyes. "What's the big _deal_, Vegeta! Just log it as training hours or something! It has to be good for endurance!"

"And WHAT is wrong with my endurance!?" Vegeta growled, face burning again.

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!" Bulma shot back, her own face now tinged red. She sighed and rubbed her temples, ready to throw in the towel, but driven by her pride and deep stubbornness. "We've done literally _everything_ else, I don't know what you're so freaked out about!" she insisted, vaguely recalling the numerous ways the couple had previously spiced up their night life.

"Woman," Vegeta replied, his face serious, "do you know what it is like to be a Saiyan and mate with an earthling?"

Bulma blinked, surprised by the line of questioning. "Well, considering you're 'mating' with _me_, I would say it's pretty darn good," she retorted, placing her hands on her hips.

"Yes, it—that's—can you be serious for one second, please?" Vegeta shot, eye twitching again.

The scientist nodded, granting her husband's request and inviting him to continue.

"Look," he began again, "I could break every bone in your pathetically weak body the same way you can break an egg," he stated. "The concentration it takes to refrain from ripping you in half during our usual bouts is immense, and that is in my current form."

Suddenly, Bulma understood. "Wait, so let me get this straight," she interrupted, "you won't have sex with me as a Super Saiyan because you're afraid you'll _screw_ me to death?"

Vegeta gritted his teeth, "that was not my choice of terminology," he growled, forever embarrassed by his wife's colorful vocabulary, "but yes. I have no idea what would happen if I were to engage you physically in the Legendary form."

Without warning, Bulma began to chuckle, then outright laughed, only adding to Vegeta's great annoyance. "Oh, and what is so funny?!" he shouted.

"My life, that's all," the blue-haired woman replied, wiping a tear from her eye. "Just my life. Now, come on, I'm all hot and bothered by your omelet analogy," she said, turning towards their bedroom and bidding him to follow with an outstretched finger, "your regular form will just have to do."

The Saiyan Prince huffed, but uncrossed his arms and followed his wife, eyes lingering on her breasts—particularly the left one.


End file.
